Some Kid got his Feelilngs Hurt and I'm so Happy

Hey guys, so I'm an assistant in a first grade class and there's this kid in the class named Abraham and let me tell you a bit about Abraham. See Abraham is a little shit. Now I know I should be saying that about a first grader, kids will be kids right? Yeah well I usually like kids and I try to bring out the good in them or whatever but this kid I swear is the problemiest problem-child I have ever encountered. Like all the other kids in class are great and if it was only those kids the class would look like this:

A wonderful, calm classroom

But then Abraham come's in like:

Exactly like this, he's got this stupidly smug face and always tries to act innocent

This kids is in the first grade and he's cursing like a sailor, distracting his classmates, not doing his work, and giving lip to me and the teacher. It's insane. Where did he even learn to curse??? Like, I've met his parents and they are nice people, totally calm and normal, how the hell did they turn him out? And he's always bugging his classmates and like you know how sometimes one kid starts doing something and then the other kids join in? It's not even that! The other kids are legit trying to do their arts and crafts and shit and this lil bitch is just throwing shit at them or poking them or hovering his face like 1 inch from their neck or some weird dumb shit like that. And of course he mouths off to us whenever we try to say anything to him. He'll either tell us he wasn't doing anything even though we saw him doing it blatantly and then fight us about it, or he'll do that annoying thing when kids plug their ears and go "lalala I can't hear youuuuuu!" and I am usually a calm person and I want to fucking strangle this kid. 

It's a pain in the ass

Now you may be asking, hey have you tried like, ACTUALLY punishing the kid with a time out or phone call home or something? YES! ALL THE TIME! See in our class we have a card system right. And so all the kids start at green card, then if they do something bad the get to yellow card which means that during recess they have to sit by themselves doing nothing until the last 5 minutes of recess, then there's the red card for if they are already on yellow and keep doing bad things. If they get a red card they have to skip recess entirely and they get a phone call home. Now sometimes a kid will get a yellow for taking or just you know, normal kid stuff, and they're get a bit sad and then behave for the rest of the day. Sometimes if they get a yellow card early in the day and then are extra good up until recess we'll even wave the punishment because they learned their lesson and it's all good. No kid in the entire class has ever actually gotten to red. Except fucking ABRAHAM! Abraham has, since the first few weeks of school, NEVER ended the day on a green card. EVER. I am not exaggerating. This kid has done at least 1 bad thing per day for MONTHS. You'd think that someone would have to like, you know, TRY to be that bad but obviously to Abraham it comes naturally. And this kid gets to red card a lot, probably more than yellow. It's so bad that instead of calling every time he gets a red card, we wait until the end of the week and just tell his parents how many red cards he got that week. I don't know how they're punishing him at home but I tell you what, it ain't working.

Like this maybe, except the kid probably doesn't even make that face

So Abraham is terrible and at this point there's basically nothing we can do because he doesn't care what we or his parents say to him. But let me now tell you the event that led me to writing this post. We were talking about important US Presidents and of course when we brought up Abe Lincoln the kid chimes in and goes "THAT'S ME THAT'S ME" and he's jumping up out of his chair and yelling it and being a disruptive little shit like usual and me the teacher just groan and look at each other trying to silently decide who's going to deal with him this time when all of a sudden this one kid, good kid, tell's him to shut up. And normally we don't tolerate that kind of language in our classroom but I wasn't about to say anything and neither was the teacher. And so Abraham says back "Hey how about you shut up?" And then does some stupid ass laugh like he's won the argument except nobody else is laughing. I swear the other kid's wanted to see him dead, I've never seen kids look at anything like that before. And so the same kid that told him to shut up before stays very calm (especially for a first grader who just got told to shut up) and just says "You only act like this because your mom doesn't love you." And then all eyes, mine included, turn to this kid who just delivered the highest tier first grader roast and then everyone looks at Abraham and he looks at everyone and he's trying to come up with a comeback but he's just stuttering like an idiot and then he starts crying and again I know I shouldn't say this but it WAS SO SATISFYING. 

See I feel bad for the kid in this picture but I can't say the same for Abraham

So the teacher gets up trying to hide her smile and goes to get Abraham to calm down and I move on with the lesson. The kid who made Abraham cry seemed to be worried he'd get in trouble for making a classmate cry and normally he would but I went over and changed his card to yellow but I whispered to him that I'd wave the punishment today as long as he kept being good and he totally knew what was going on. And so that's the story of how punishment was met out on a kid by another kid when we adults were powerless. Thanks for reading my word walls. Til next time readers!